In order to have a true peace in your life, you must be calm. I have sensed that calm in my life for the past few months since accepting Jesus as my savior. I am well-balanced in mind, emotion, physical health, and even my time management has been able to balance out properly since finding God. As for peace, in the sense of absence of conflict, it is very present and I have had no major arguments minus a trivial one here or their and I always resolve the issue soon enough to not compromise the peace I have in my life. As for safety: I have had little fear for my health, finances, or even my grades this past semester. Control: while I thought I was still in control of my life for the past few months, within the past few weeks I have realized that in giving control of my life over to God, everything works out so much better. And confidence: I still dislike public speaking, etc, but I feel myself loosening up with my college friends and I am even confident enough to write this blog and post it for complete strangers to see! I posted the note I wrote on my decision about homosexuality on facebook for all to see. I know that only God could have instilled this new found confidence.
God is awesome for being able to instill this shalom, this Pyung Ahn, this peace in me and I praise Him for these wonderful blessings that are so numerous and unrepayable with my single human life; I cannot glorify Him enough!
… So today’s note has a bit of a random topic jump ‘cause I stink at transitions and had two separate thoughts… anyways…
I just got back from a welcome home party for a teenage cousin of mine who is around the age of 14. While we were sitting and chatting somehow we managed to bring the conversation to biblical references and living for God. Admittedly my brain is a bit fuzzy from too much soda (caffeinated, sugary beverages and me are not a good mix) and I do not remember too many specifics of our conversation but I remember leaving with a peaceful heart knowing that she lives a Christian life and even if she still has some sins, I know that she was raised the right way and knows enough scripture now so that if she becomes closer to God as she grows into an adult, she has that background she can stay grounded in.
As much as I love my parents and love the morals they instilled in me, I also realize that they did not raise me to be a good Christian and to read my bible or pray every day. We would recite a prayer over dinner if we were sitting down as a family, but even then it is the same one that we all recite together. I look back on my childhood now and wish that I had been raised to be a true Christian and to live for God, not just insert Him every so often.
Yet at the same time I am grateful that they never forced God on me and while that may be because they do not love Him as I do now, I am still grateful that I could have that free will. I believe that because I was not forced into my religion and because I chose Him of my own accord, I am closer to Him now. If I grew up with God in my life, but got to this point, then maybe instead of going to a Christian club meeting because I was curious I may have only gone to make my parents happy or out of obligation. I might have worshiped God, but only been going through the motions.
Heavenly Father, I pray to you and I am THANKFUL for the rough past I have had in living without you and I am so grateful that I have this free will to truly love you and to choose to live for you. God, I could easily turn away from you and live a worldly life, but I know that You are always there and only You can bring me this inner peace I have so longed for. Lord, no earthly relationship or desire compares to Your love for me and my humble life I give freely to You. Jesus, I thank You for Your sacrifice on the cross so that I feel no obligation to live a sinless life and to worship You, but that I can choose to love You of my own free will. Lord, please give me the knowledge to understand and the desire to read Your word. Please guide me to WALK WITH YOU. Amen (it is so).
Peace ~Pyung Ahn
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