organizing my life

I’ve been talking about Philippians for the past three days, so today I’m taking a bit of a break from deep scripture discussions. I spent a good amount of time while on break the past few weeks to go through my old papers, internet accounts, mass amount of sticky notes in my bible, etc. I felt a need to do this mass organization to make it easier to focus on God in this new year and also to delete things from my old life that were not so righteous. I have erased much of the temptations that can draw me away from God and even some things that just serve as distractions from everyday life. As I write today’s post I am taking the time to pray and repent, as reviewing my past like this drags those past sins back into my mind.

There are certain games and sites that draw me into the unreality that is the internet and gaming worlds. I deleted those games that are nothing but time wasters. I used to play a few different role play sites and though I always manage to remove myself from those types of sites before school starts, I still had the links bookmarked. In deleting those links, I removed them from my life and told myself that escaping from reality is not a good way to live and especially distracting when I have God’s word to lose myself in instead.

I also had an account on a fan-fiction site. On this site, I would write a few stories taken from the cannon of other stories. Unfortunately much of my stories were not so righteous. Actually a lot of my stories were boarder line pornography. I used to watch pornography, but that is in my past as well. I deleted all of my stories and deleted the links I had to it, even removing the email alerts I had on other authors because the stories I would read were sinful as well. I’m closing that chapter of my life involving lustful sins and as I write this I just deleted the last document I had on fan-fiction stories. The stories are forever gone; I’ve made a covenant with God not to act upon my lusts and though I know lusts are one of those sins that will probably always be there, I repent every day for this sin of the mind. When I sense myself slipping into that lustful way of thinking, I immediately start to pray and repent, as I know it is not righteous.

Now a reflection on the near past, since coming to know God, that is much happier than my reflection on websites. I wrote journal entries for my health class and as I look at about the three week mark of the semester, I see that God had started to change me already, even though I was skeptical of Him still. As I go through those entries, I realize how my faith has grown over the semester. It is amazing how much God controls me for the better now! I’m saving those journal entries to reflect upon and possibly post with comments later and a few other assignments where I included God in my pieces I am saving for future reference as well.

I updated facebook to include a link to this blog instead of the now non-existent fan-fiction site. I deleted all the apps to games, inappropriate apps and messages on bumper sticker and flair, etc that do not lead to a righteous life. I still need to go through groups, but otherwise everything has been deleted or updated. I still have friends from my past who are not Christian, but I feel God wants me to stay connected to those whom I used to be like so that I might bring them towards salvation.

The past day or so I have gone through the large amount of sticky notes that I have in my bible. I took an excel document and wrote down some of those bookmarks with book, chapter and verse references, a link to the verse in blue letter bible (blueletterbible.org is a good place to find the scripture you’re looking for) and a quick word or two on the theme of that quote. In removing all those sticky notes, I organized all the scripture I have found important to me and made it easier to focus on the scripture I haven’t gotten to yet.

What must I still do to finish reorganizing my life? I must go through my material possessions and donate those things I can do without and that would be put to better use by someone less fortunate than me. It is not what I have in this life that brings me salvation and only God makes me happy, not possessions in this world (look up Luke 12:21, 32-34 for more about riches in this life). I also need to get a better hold of my finances and in doing so, donate regularly to churches, missionaries, and other charities. I have been donating to the church when I can, but if I don’t, I feel greedy. I know I have more than enough for myself and feel the sin of greed weighing on my heart. I may set up an automatic donation from my credit card once the next bill comes in and my finances are properly sorted out so that I feel less greedy. Donating not only helps those who need the funding and materials, but also helps me to feel more fulfilled in serving others and in living for God, not this world.

I am closing away those earlier chapters in my life before I knew God. It is only through the power of Jesus that I am blessed with the spiritual strength and emotional strength to lock these burdens from my past away. My life is more organized so that I am tempted less and I can focus on God easier and more often. I know today’s topic of organization was ironically unorganized, but I had to write what you just read in order to clear my conscious and lift those burdens from my heart. God bless y’all!

Peace ~ Pyung Ahn ~ Shalom